Friday, March 03, 2006

Important TV Dialogue With Life Lessons

From the third season of NewsRadio, a dialogue exchange where Beth (Vicki Lewis) is angry that Lisa (Maura Tierney) has received an award for "Cutest Reporter in New York":

LISA: All right, look, I did not ask for this stupid award.
BETH: If I were you, I'd be upset too. I mean you? Cute? Come on.
LISA: I am not entirely uncute. Why are you being nasty about this?
BETH: I'm not being nasty. You're pretty. You're very pretty, in fact. But cute? I don't think so.
LISA: Well, I wasn't aware there was a difference.
BETH: Well, of course there is a difference. Pretty means pretty. Cute means pretty but short and/or hyperactive -- like me!
LISA: Uh-huh. What is beautiful?
BETH: Beautiful means pretty and tall.
LISA: Gorgeous?
BETH: Pretty with great hair.
LISA: Striking?
BETH: Pretty with a big nose.
LISA: OK, you're making this up.
BETH: That's ridiculous, why would I make it up?
LISA: Sexy?
BETH: Pretty and easy.
LISA: Exotic?
BETH: Ugly.
LISA: I don't understand what this has to do with anything.
BETH: Look, once they start calling pretty people cute, it devalues the whole word. What's gonna happen next? Cute exotic people? Cute sexy people? It is very important that the word "cute" remain precise terminology for the people who truly have cuteness -- like me!
(Catherine walks up.)
CATHERINE: Hold it, Beth. Don't take it out on Lisa. It's not her fault that she's cute.
BETH: She's not cute, she's pretty.
CATHERINE: Okay, then what am I?
BETH: Sexy.
CATHERINE: Thank you.

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