Friday, March 24, 2006

"Enough Is Enough. I've Had It With These Snakes."

Snakes on a Plane.

It has come to my attention that a surprising number of people (including, until recently, me) are unfamiliar with the upcoming movie entitled Snakes On a Plane.

Here is the trailer for Snakes On a Plane.

The movie Snakes on a Plane will be released this August. It stars Samuel L. Jackson, and the story is about a plane. With snakes on it. Jackson is transporting a witness to L.A. by plane. The bad guys want to kill the witness. So they release a bunch of snakes. The snakes are on the plane. That's why it's called Snakes on a Plane.

For those of you who are still wondering why this is the best thing ever, I refer you to the man who apparently broke this story, Josh Friedman: "Holy shit, I'm thinking. It's a title. It's a concept. It's a poster and a logline and whatever else you need it to be. It's perfect. Perfect. It's the Everlasting Gobstopper of movie titles."

Unbelievably, the studio was considering changing the title to Pacific Air Flight 121, which would have been the worst title change since some idiot changed Cop Gives Waitress 2 Million Dollar Tip to It Could Happen To You. Instead, online buzz for the title was so huge that the studio's re-shoots actually added a line that the fans had been demanding to hear in the film ("I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!"). Plus adding more gore and nudity and profanity to change the film's rating from PG-13 to R, a welcome throwback to the good old '80s days when cheesy action flicks weren't aimed at 15 year-olds, or at least the 15 year-olds who didn't know enough to sneak into the theatre.

This will be the greatest movie ever, and if you don't know why, well, I can't help you if you have no soul.

No comments: