More Lyrics From "Thank Your Lucky Stars"

One of the reasons Thank Your Lucky Stars works better than most of the WWII all-star musicals is that Arthur Schwartz (music) and Frank Loesser (lyrics) specifically tied many of their songs to the details of life on the homefront during wartime. So instead of just a collection of random songs, there's actually sort of an underlying theme to a lot of the score: we can have fun and make music even in unpleasant times. Here are three examples of how Loesser handles this.

First, the specialty song for Eddie Cantor, "We're Staying Home Tonight," is a deliberate pastiche of the songs Cantor sang in his '20s and '30s prime: a bouncy song about all the happy fun two people can have together. But the lyrics (which, like some of the other songs in the movie, have some unusually suggestive lines for a Production Code-era movie) are outfitted with a public-service message: avoid "nonessential spending" and stay home instead.

"We're Staying Home Tonight"

Verse

Thank you for your cordial invitation, Mrs. Jones,
But with nightclub life we're through.
Non-essential spending brings inflation, Mrs. Jones,
So here's what we're planning to do:

Refrain 1

We're staying home tonight,
My baby and me,
Doing the patriotic thing.
I've got my income-tax returns to hurdle,
And she'll be saving mileage on her girdle.
Don't want to roam tonight,
We're snug as can be,
Hoping the phone will never ring.
The landlord never told us, when we moved in this flat,
That you can use the fireside for more than a chat.
We're staying home tonight,
My baby and me,
Doing the patriotic thing.

Refrain 2

We're staying home tonight,
My baby and me,
Having a patriotic time.
It's not that Mommy doesn't trust her Poppy,
It's just that we don't trust our old jalopy.
Don't want to roam tonight,
We're snug as can be,
Being alone is so sublime.
While I sit in my slippers, and munch a piece of fruit,
She'll iron out the wrinkles in my victory suit.
We're staying home tonight,
My baby and me,
Having a patriotic time.

We'll play a game of rummy, it's cheaper than the Ritz,
The winner gets a kiss, and just in case of a Blitz,
We're staying home tonight,
My baby and me,
Having a patriotic time.

Her coffee could be sweeter, but I'm not in the dumps,
'Cause ev'ry time she hugs me, it's like two extra lumps.
We're staying home tonight,
My baby and me,
Having a patriotic time.

The song for Errol Flynn, "That's What You Jolly Well Get," parodies (as I said before) Flynn's own non-service by casting him as a braggart who tells tall tales of battles he never actually served in. But it's also, again, an updated version of an old-fashioned type of song, an Edwardian-era song with WWII references:

"That's What You Jolly Well Get"

ERROL
I can see the questions in your eyes.
I can see the twitchin' of your ears.
Now, it's not to be repeated,
But, gentlemen, be seated,
And I'll tell you where I've been for all these years.

MEN
If he's very nicely treated,
And we keep his toddy heated,
He'll tell us where he's been for all these years.

ERROL
I was out on the blue Pacific with a Cruiser of the Fleet,
Hoppin' over the side for me Saturday dip.
When I noticed a Jap torpedo whizzin' by beneath my feet,
Comin' lickety-split and headed for our ship.
So I stopped 'er with me left, and I turned 'er with me right,
And I aimed 'er very careful and I shoved with all me might.
And I sank the sub what sent 'er, and I roared with righteous wrath:
"That's what you jolly well get,
That's what you jolly well get,
Disturbin' me Saturday evening bath."

MEN
Hooray!
He's won the war!
He's won the war!

ERROL
But I'm modest to the core.

MEN
Hooray!
He's won the war!
And though he's rather shy,
He's terribly, terribly shy,
He will admit he's won the war.

ERROL
I was captured around Bengazi by a Nazi regiment
After polishin' off 'alf a thousand or more.
And it took 'em two pairs of tanks to drag me into the General's tent,
Where they started to search the uniform I wore.
When they took away my gun, I was pleasant as could be,
But then they took a letter what my sweetheart wrote to me.
So I bashed their bloomin' brains in and I l lived to tell the tale.
That's what they jolly well get,
That's what they jolly well get
For readin' a gentleman's private mail.

MEN
Hooray!
He's won the war!
He's won the war!

ERROL
And I won the one before.

MEN
Hooray!
He's won the war!
He hates to tell the tale,
But give him a barrel of ale,
And he'll admit he's won the war.

ERROL
I was 'avin' me leave in London back in nineteen-forty-one,
'Avin' breakfast in bed at a fancy address.
When a Jerry come by and drop a bomb that must've weighed a ton
It was difficult to collect myself, I guess.
So to Croydon Field I ran, and I hopped a plane from there.
Now, I couldn't tell who done it -- there was thousands in the air.
So I shot down all the blighters and I told 'em all: "You see?
That's what you jolly well get,
That's what you jolly well get,
For splashin' a gentleman's cup of tea."

MEN
Hooray!
He's saved the day!
He's saved the day!

ERROL
In my own quiet way.

MEN
Hooray!
He's saved the day!
He always zips his lips,
But treat him with fish and chips,
And he'll admit he's saved the day.

Hooray!
He's won the war!
He's won the war!
This mighty conqueror!
Hooray!
He's won the war!
So to this most heroic gent
We ought to erect a monument
And put it in Trafalgar Square
Where he can enjoy the open air!

(They throw Errol out the window.)

Hooray!

Finally, "Ice Cold Katie," a number for Hattie McDaniel and an all-black cast, is about hasty marriages by people heading off to war (which Preston Sturges would make the subject of The Miracle of Morgan's Creek around the same time). As in many of these movies, the black performers are reserved for one number only, so that they could be cut by Southern theatres; but Warner Brothers, here and in "Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs," was one of the few studios to acknowledge the contribution of black troops in the war. Schwartz's tune, which Carl Stalling sometimes used in WB cartoon scores, is one of the catchiest tunes ever; I wish I could find it and post it, but the lyric will have to do.

"Ice Cold Katie"

Verse

HATTIE & COMPANY
Private Jones is campin' on the doorstep of Miss Katie Brown.
She must be the very, very coldest creature in this town.
He's been there for seven days and nights, and now he's leavin' too,
And still she won't, still she won't, still she won't say "I do."

Refrain

Ice Cold Katie, won't you marry the soldier?
Ice Cold Katie, won't you do it today?
Ice Cold Katie, whyn't you marry that soldier?
Soon he'll march away.
Ice Cold Katie, he's just dyin' to hold yer,
Keep that date he went a-hirin' for.
Ice Cold Katie, won't you marry the soldier?
Soon he's off to war.
Here he is outside, ringin', ringin' ringin' on your bell,
Ringin' so long, he's gonna be A-W-O-L.
Ice Cold Katie, won't you do what I told yer?
Ice Cold Katie, you's the talk of the town.
Ice Cold Katie, won't you marry the soldier?
Melt, melt, melt on down,
Ice Cold Katie Brown.

Interlude

PREACHER
I was here at seven,
I was here at ten,
I was here at eleven,
And I positively won't be back again.
Is the ring all ready?
Did the bride get sense?
Is the groom feelin' steady
After all the matrimonial suspense?
Is the cake just dandy?
Is the choir in tune?
Is the beer handy?
The private might be leavin' pretty soon.

CHORUS
Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate, Katie,
Won't you step outside?
Ev'rything is ready but the bride!

Refrain

Ice Cold Katie, won't you marry the soldier?
Ice Cold Katie, won't you do it today?
Ice Cold Katie, whyn't you marry that soldier?
Soon he'll march away.
Ice Cold Katie, he's just dyin' to hold yer,
Ice Cold Katie, how he grumbles and groans!
Ice Cold Katie, won't you marry the soldier?

SOLDIERS
Hey, hey, Private Jones!
Don't you know we ain't got no, got no, got no time to spare?
Don't you know we're all sailin', sailin', sailin' over there?

ALL
Ice Cold Katie, won't you do what I told yer?
Ice Cold Katie, ain't got nothin' to lose!
Ice Cold Katie, won't you marry the soldier?
Looks like rice and shoes!
Spread, spread, spread the news!

Interlude

PREACHER
Do you take this woman?
Do you take this man?
Well, young man and young woman,
Better get a little lovin' while you can.
I now pronounce you
Man and wife.
I never had such trouble in my life!

Coda

ALL
Don't you know they ain't got no, got no, got no time to spare?
Don't you know they are sailin', sailin', sailin' over there?
Ice Cold Katie went and married the soldier,
Ice Cold Katie with the shivery frown.
Ice Cold Katie went and married the soldier,
Ice Cold Katie Brown!