Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Deep Throat, The Musical?

In the category of "stuff I wrote but can't remember exactly why," I wrote this song lyric last year -- I think it was an exercise to see if I could write a musical-comedy song for a particularly sleazy character, in this case, the producer-director of a pornographic movie. The song was called "Little Miss Rose," where he touts the, er, virtues of his latest star discovery.

I am posting it here because a) It's my site and you can't stop me; b) I kind of like a few of the lines. What the heck.


Little Miss Rose

I’ve made a movie,
They call it pornographic.
The movie’s got no plot at all,
Is that a problem? Not at all!
‘Cause in my movie
The star is so seraphic
She interferes with traffic,
She’s also slightly Sapphic.

She’s the star of my flick,
She’s a great classy chick,
In scene one, she gets sick
Of wearing her clothes,
Her name, which I helped pick,
Is Little Miss Rose.
Last July, she was just
Julie Dirks, sweeping dust,
Brand new name, brand new bust,
And everyone shows
A new respect and lust
For Little Miss Rose.
From films with taste
A man will flee with haste,
But down he sits
For dames with great big… it’s so fearless,
‘Cause it’s brassiereless.
Every reel will appeal
To the average Joes,
They’ll love the aging queen
Who tastefully steps between
Little Miss Rose,
Little Miss Rose,
Little Miss Rose.

She can act when she tries,
Makes real tears when she cries,
But she don’t realize
That nobody goes
To see what’s in the eyes
Of Little Miss Rose.
Hollywood’s round the bend,
Downbeat plots are the trend
Why would you recommend
Depressives like those?
Go see the happy end
Of little Miss Rose.
It’s cheap, it’s low,
The pace is kind of slow,
No sets, no stunts,
But lots of shots of… once you run it,
You’ll wish you’d done it.
If you thought that we’ve got
Nothing left to expose,
You’re wrong, you horny jerks,
A sequel is in the works
With cinema’s queen,
Star of the screen,
Spotlessly clean,
Lissome and lean,
Know what I mean?
Like a machine,
Is she eighteen?
Nobody knows.
But it ain’t the last you’ve seen
Of little Miss Rose.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

^^ nice blog!! ^@^

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