Thursday, December 13, 2007

Grudge Match: Charlie's Angels vs. Three Stooges

Charlie (on the speaker): Angels, the picture on the screen in front of you is the home of Mrs. Angela Palledankhurst, wealthy widow of J. Trumper Palledankhurst.

Sabrina: There's nothing on the screen, Charlie.

Charlie: I'm sorry, I assumed it was. That's the disadvantage of not being there in person. Well, if there were a picture on the screen, it would be of Mrs. Palledankurst's palatial estate, and she needs your help getting rid of her three new servants.

Kelly: Can't she just fire them?

Bosley: She's tried that. They just keep bopping each other on the head and going... (consults notes) "Woob-woob-woob."

Jill: I don't think it takes all three of us to save a wealthy dowager from three idiots. Or three fools. Or three dopes. Or three of anything, really.

Charlie: Think again, Jill. These men are insane, violent and virtually impossible to get rid of. If you don't get them out of that house, they'll soon destroy one of the oldest and snobbiest mansions in wherever this episode takes place.

Sabrina: All right, we'll get on it. Jill, Kelly and I will go undercover as maids at the Palledankhurst estate and try to get those guys out of the house by any means necessary. Bosley, can you get us three French maids' outfits, including a high-cut, long-skirt version for me?

Bosley: Already made them myself.

Charlie: Good luck, Angels, and be careful. Larry, Curly and Moe are unlike any adversaries you've ever faced. But I have confidence in you. Just don't bother me for the next twenty-four hours, because I've got a hot date with an Olympic figure skater.


Who wins? Will the Stooges deplete the dowager's domicile, or will the television trio terrify the stumbling Stooges?


Michael Jones said...

Is the dowager's estate in Niagara Falls by any chance?

Anonymous said...

I predict a triple wedding after two reels of hilarity.

Anonymous said...

aw, "some guy" beat me to it. I, too, predict a triple wedding, and the following year, a fine procession as the Angels proudly march down the street pushing baby buggies, each one with a baby stooge in it.

Anonymous said...

I predict that the ending is a huge custard pie fight, and the winner is ambiguous. But you can be sure of one thing: The final shot will be the stuffy old lady getting a pie in the face and looking surprised.

Anonymous said...

Is there some side story here, where Bosley is battling against Shemp?

Jaime J. Weinman said...

I predict a triple wedding after two reels of hilarity.

Fine, but which Angel marries which Stooge?

I guess Sabrina and Moe, being the leaders of their respective teams, are an obvious pairing. But how do Curly and Larry match up with Jill and Kelly?

Also, how do the other Angels match up with the other Stooges? I guess Kris and Shemp have something in common as legitimate members of the teams who don't get a lot of respect. But does Curly Joe or Joe Besser get stuck with Shelley Hack?

Michael Jones said...

I always found Kelly to be a bit more cerebral than Jill, so I'd match her with Larry and Jill gets Curly by default. Curly-Joe was pretty whiny so he & Hack could pair up leaving Joe Besser with Julie Rogers.
Rats, I'm leaving out Shemp. John's Bosley idea answers that.

Anonymous said...

Curly always gets the hottest one, that's the rule. So he gets Cameron Diaz.

That leaves Redhead Drew Barrymore for Larry and Brunette Lucy Liu for Moe.