Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Hank Hill on Judges

The U.S. Supreme Court brouhaha (or, if there's two vacancies, brouhahas, or possibly brouhahi) inevitably brings to mind this exchange from the King of the Hill episode "Bobby Slam", in which Peggy invokes Title IX to get the neighbor's daughter, Connie, a tryout for the wrestling team, to the mortification of Hank, who fears that this will threaten Bobby's chance to make the team:

HANK: I thought you were busy teaching girls to blow up basketballs. When did this turn into a desire to ruin wrestling?
PEGGY: Oh, give me a break. I don't see how having a girl on the team would ruin it. Did a woman judge ruin the Supreme Court?
HANK: Yes, and that woman's name was Earl Warren.

That even outclasses The Simpsons' take on the late Chief Justice Warren (Marge: "Earl Warren was never a stripper!" Homer: "Now who's being naive?").

The line is, if a google search is any indication, pretty popular on the right side of the blogosphere, but the episode itself (which may have the most instantly-quotable lines of any King of the Hill episode) is actually a good one for "King of the Hill Democrats," as it's quite liberal in a non-preachy way, and the antagonist is the sexist coach who declares that Title IX was "Dick Nixon's biggest mistake":

PEGGY: Title IX of the Civil Rights Act clearly prohibits sex discrimination in public schools, and guarantees equal athletic opportunities for all boys and girls.
COACH: Yeah, well, Roe v. Wade doesn't apply to my wrestling team.
PEGGY: Oh, I think you'll find it does apply.
(Peggy and Connie leave the office.)
CONNIE: Mrs. Hill, wasn't Roe v. Wade --?
PEGGY: Yeah, I know, dear, but you have to pick your battles.

The best exchange in that episode is probably the one after Bobby tells Hank and his friends that Connie's presence might cost him a regular spot on the team:

HANK: It's all well and good to talk about equal rights until some man loses his job. How is that equal?
BOBBY: Yeah, and it's worse when they take away our favors, 'cause we're used to getting them.
BILL: Now hold on, Hank, I'm all for ladies wrestling, except when they do it in pudding. That's just demeaning to the human beings who make pudding.
DALE: Ever since they held that big women's conference in Beijing, co-ed sports has been the number-two priority on the international feminite agenda. Want to know what the number-one priority is? Co-ed bathrooms. It'll be a cold day in hell before we institute that in the Gribble home.

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