Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Stella Star!

Edward Hegstrom has a post about the most amazerrific of all Star Wars knockoffs, the one, the hopefully only, Star Crash (or, as it's called in Italian, Starcrash). Starring Marjoe Gortner, Caroline Munro, Hamilton Camp, the young David Hasselhoff and Christopher Plummer. Poor guy. The casting implies that he's the Star Crash level equivalent of Guinness, which just isn't fair.



Seanbaby also did a Star Crash review a few years ago.


The second way in which Star Crash is superior to Star Wars is Stella Star. She can’t act and she delivers her lines like she’s speaking English phonetically, but she is constantly fighting in a bikini. Even when she puts on a space jumpsuit, she picks a transparent one so you can still see her bikini. Her ridiculous hotness leads to some problems, though. The film’s editor seems to have had trouble cutting one single millisecond of Stella Star footage, so after she stammers out a line, there’s usually an awkward four to five second pause while the camera lingers on her face. As an actress, she’s not prepared for this, and most of the movie is her trying to look busy by contorting her face into intense stares.

6 comments:

Rob G. said...

Cozzi rules!

Starcrash (aka Female Space Invaders, if you can believe that) is the best Star Wars knock off I've seen, and I've seen a buttload. Dunno if I should be ashamed of that or not. LOL

Hell, these days I prefer watching a SW knock off to the real thing.

Edward Hegstrom said...

In fairness, Cozzi (or Lewis Coates, if you prefer) was clearly going for a campy, comic book style, somewhere between "Diabolik" and "Barbarella"--of course, he failed miserably, but at least he tried.

John said...

Please...will SOMEONE release this on DVD!!!!

Booksteve said...

Caroline Munro was Stella and she was most definitely not speaking phonetically as she is English. Also a Bond girl and a Hammer girl, she has turned up at various fan functions in recent years.I hear she's nice.

kungfumonkeybot said...

actually there was more than one starcrash, the sequel was called escape from galaxy 3 in some countries but starcrash 2 in most others.

buzz said...

I have never seen an actor looking more acutely embarrassed that Christopher Plummer is STARCRASH. He has about two minutes of screen time, showing up at the very beginning and the very end wearing a silver lame' sweat suit.