Saturday, December 27, 2008

Grudge Match: Mammy Yokum vs. Granny Clampett



When there's a fight between the two most fearsome old ladies in the Hills (either the Ozark or Beverly variety), everyone gets out of the way. Who wins the ultimate feud between Pansy "Mammy" Yokum (Li'l Abner) and Granny (The Beverly Hillbillies)?



I anticipate the obvious objection: this is immovable object/irresistible force territory, and could well culminate in the destruction of Dogpatch, Beverly Hills, and its surrounding environs. But that's a small price to pay for a good fictional-character fight.

Mammy is probably stronger than Granny, but I think Granny has more of a mean streak. Mammy believes that "good is better'n evil becuz it's nicer," and has a certain amount of affection for her son and daughter-in-law, while Granny lives in a constant state of rage and fury against everyone, even those closest to her

6 comments:

JD Rhoades said...

And let's not forget, Granny has her Spring Tonic. The Viking Berserkers couldn't ask for a better battle drug. And IIRC, the Spring Tonic can actually grant its user the power of flight for short periods.

Will said...

It may be neither here nor there, but Granny Clampett sure looks like Bill Hartnell's incarnation of The Doctor.

Anonymous said...

Irene Ryan keeled over dead during her Broadway run belting out "I'm Still Here!" Let that be a lesson to all of us.

stevef said...

I'd have to give a slight edge to Mammy. Granny may have gone soft living in Beverly Hills once she got the hang of not putting wood in the stove. Living in Dogpatch kept Mammy young. Besides, Mammy had to deal with some pretty tough characters on a regular basis, and keep Lil Abner in line.

Granny does bear a resemblance to the first Doctor. Maybe she never died, but rather regenerated into Estell Getty on "The Golden Girls."

Katherine the Great said...

Don't forget another thing: Granny used to smoke crawdads. That alone tips the scale in her favor.

Anonymous said...

The winner then has to get past Granny of Sylvester & Tweety fame, who swings a mean umbrella.