Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Grudge Match: Philip Banks vs. Carl Winslow

Two portly '90s sitcom dads battle it out: Judge Philip "Uncle Phil" Banks (James Avery, Fresh Prince of Bel Air) vs. Sergeant Carl Winslow (Reginald VelJohnson, Family Matters).

Both men are fighting with all their heart because of the prize that has been offered: sweet, sweet relief from the greatest irritant in their lives. If Phil wins, Jazz will be thrown out of his house permanently, never to return at any time. If Carl wins, Steve Urkel will be shot into space along with the Urkel-bot and any and all alter-Urkel-egos. Which pudgy Pop will hop to the top, the judge or the cop??

The two seem evenly matched to me. Carl has police training, but that advantage is offset by Phil being in better shape. Also, both seem evenly matched when it comes to the RAGE (tm): Carl's life and property has been destroyed by Urkel, but his other kids are relatively inoffensive, whereas even if Phil gets rid of Jazz, he still has the pain of being the father of Carlton and Hilary and raising a guy who's so wimpy that his mother had to banish him from Philadelphia after one little fight. For both of these men, there has been no rest and no peace, and now their fury will be unleashed -- but who will come out of this alive?

2 comments:

PCUnfunny said...

I love these matchups you do ! I think I will give this one to Carl because he's a cop. Despite his weight, he probably could hold his own in a fight. However, Phil could sit on him.

Brent McKee said...

Can Carl get some of Urkel's "Bruce Juice?" Because then it's no contest. On the other hand if the grudge match is at a pool hall and without the "Bruce Juice" then Phil wins - I'll bet he's got a special fighting cue.