Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Grudge Match: Magnificent Seven vs. Seven Samurai

East meets West, original meets remake: The Seven Samurai face off against The Magnificent Seven in an all-out fight without weapons. Will Brynner's Band Bring the Badassery, or will Takashi and Toshiro's Team Take them to the Top?

Why are no weapons allowed in this fight? Because the Seven Samurai have swords. The Magnificent Seven have guns. Indiana Jones can tell you how that fight turns out.

6 comments:

lobsterjohnson said...

Upper body strength would be about the same I suppose, leg muscles would favor the samurai because they walk everywhere while cowboys rely a bit too much on horseback. tight restrictive cowboy jeans v. loose samurai robes designed for movement, footwear is a tie: getting stomped by either one of those wooden plank sandals or a boot with one of them dangles would be unpleasant.

All of which is irrelevant because Toshiro Mifune could bring down John Wayne (both Gacy and original flavor) Clint Eastwood & Bruce Campbell in the same night without getting thirsty. He was the Han Solo of black and white.

Slowjack said...

The bandits the Seven Samurai fought had guns, ya know. Not all of them, but still, I think it shows, without a doubt, that the Magnificent Seven have no chance, weapons or no.

Brent McKee said...

Give it to the Samurai on stealth alone. A little darkness, a few cigarettes lit by the cowboys (lighting up destroys night vision for a few minutes) then in close quarters they'd be dead before they knew they'd been cut.

Jorge Garrido said...

If Star Wars has taught us anything, it's that the discipline of Samurais always beats the rough and tumble cowboys.

buzz said...

Gotta go with the samurai. They're trained in all sorts of martial arts, including karate and ju-jitsu, so they can take the cowboys hand-to-hand easily. Also, almost half of the Magnificent Seven were barflies, IIRC, or suffering from some sort of nervous breakdown, while the samurai were clean and sober (for the most part; Mifune really tied none one but that was the exception not the rule).

buzz said...

edit: Shoulda read "tied one one" in the last line.