Great Lyrics: "Marie's Law"

One of my all-time favourite theatre songs is "Marie's Law" from the Pulitzer-Prize winning Fiorello!, the first hit for the songwriting team of Jerry Bock (music) and Sheldon Harnick (lyrics). The song is a triumph of serious musical comedy, in that it expresses something serious in a brash musical-comedy style: Fiorello LaGuardia's loyal secretary, Marie, is frustrated about her unrequited love for her boss, the fact that he just broke a date with her, and the fact that he seems to be getting interested in someone else. But this is expressed obliquely, comically, and with specific reference to the setting (a law office): tells Fiorello's clerk Morris that she wishes she could make laws against unrequited love, and the song becomes a mock-dictation with him writing down her words and repeating them.

The song is also a triumph of a good director's instincts. Bock and Harnick had originally written a serious solo torch song where Marie could express her feelings, a song they thought was going to be a big hit. But George Abbott, the writer-director of the show, thought the song was slowing down the show, and Abbott never hesitated to cut anything that might slow down a show's pace for even a second. In its place, he had Bock and Harnick write something that would express the same feelings, but be funny instead of sentimental, and keep things moving on stage (because it's an "action" song where characters are interacting and doing bits of physical business) instead of bringing everything to a stop for one character to sit on the stage and sing. It is, in other words, everything a good musical-theatre song should be, a combination of great music and lyrics with specific attention to character, setting, pacing and stagecraft. You don't get that in Spamalot.

The lyrics show off Harnick's love of plays on words ("Outlaw in-laws"). Here they are:


MARIE
My law shall state, to whom it may concern...

MORRIS
Your law shall state, to whom it may concern...

MARIE
When a lady loves a gentleman, he must love her in return.

MORRIS
...loves a gentleman, he must love her in re...

MARIE
In re my law, ad hoc, to wit, to woo...

MORRIS
In re your law, ad hoc, to wit, to woo...

MARIE
When a lady feels affectionate, then the man must follow through.

MORRIS
...feels affectionate, then the man must follow...

MARIE
Here's another law we women'll
Do our best to legislate:
It shall be completely criminal
For a man to break a date.
Each offender shall be rapidly
Thrown in jail where he belongs.
Thus we'll write our bill of wrongs.
My law is what the world is waiting for.

MORRIS
Your law is what the world is waiting for.

MARIE
Every unrequited lover will be grateful when it
Meets the full approval of the House and Senate;
Such enthusiasm as you never saw
Will greet my lovely law.
In re my law, it should be understood...

MORRIS
In re your law, it should be understood...

MARIE
With the help of women everywhere, we shall outlaw bachelorhood.

MORRIS
...women everywhere, you shall outlaw bachelorh...

MARIE
What's more, in lieu...

MORRIS
Marie, before you're through,
I've got some things I'd like to say. If you
Have got to outlaw anything, you should outlaw in-laws too.

MARIE
I'm concerned with what the man must do.
Every girl shall have a honeymoon
Which shall last at least a year,
During which aforesaid honeymoon
Every care shall disappear.
Ipso facto, let the government
Get the bride and groom a loan.
After that, they're on their own.
My law is what the world is waiting for.

MORRIS
Your law is what the world is waiting for.

MARIE
We are going to rid the country of contempt of courtship.

MORRIS
Legally replacing it with davenportship.

MARIE
Such enthusiasm as you never saw
Will greet my lovely law.

MORRIS
Such enthusiasm as you never saw
Will greet your lovely law.