Depressing Songs, Cont.

As part of my mission to post the most depressing song lyrics ever written -- songs that are perfect for playing when you don't want to hear about sunshine or lollipops or even rainbows everywhere -- here's one of the greats, the song "Everything's Great" from Golden Boy by composer Charles Strouse and lyricist Lee Adams:

HE
Everything's great, couldn't be better,
Up to my ears in debt.
Rent's overdue, nothing but worries,
How great can things get?
Here I am, Thomas J. Moody,
Three year-old suit from Robert J. Hall.
Jesus H. Christ, where am I heading?
These lucky feet find the one street
That's guaranteed to lead to a brick wall.
Every old horse has to win sometime,
When is it my big purse?
Things have to change, gotta get better,
They could not get worse.

SHE
Here I am, still getting nowhere,
Making believe it's all so divine.
Had to get hung on Mister Married,
Doing things right, that's not my line;
Screwing things up, that's where I shine.

HE
Just what I need, she's gonna kill me,
Milking me dry, my wife.

BOTH
Everything's great, couldn't be better...

HE
Birds are singing...

SHE
(Vultures, maybe...)

HE
Flowers blooming...

SHE
(Poison ivy...)

BOTH
What a perfect life.