Friday, June 24, 2005

T Time

I'm still behind on finishing my semi-substantive posts, so here is another exercise in super-frivolity: the lyrics of a song I wrote a couple of years ago in an attempt to come up with the ultimate theme song for Mr. T nostalgia. Actually, it was also written for a projected situation in my attempted NewsRadio musical; the idea was that Joe would sing it at a meeting, interrupting Dave's attempts to discuss work and leading the whole staff in a hymn to '80s nostalgia. But it works better out of context.

I did have a tune for this, but I can't post it here, so here are the words, and imagine any tune you like (it would probably be an improvement on mine):

Mr. T!
Sing the praise of
Mr. T!
Sing for days of
Mr. T!
Learn the ways of
The amazing Mr. T!
He’s so cool!
No one’s tougher!
Listen, fool,
No one’s rougher!
He ain’t cruel,
But you’ll suffer
If you mess with Mr. T!
He drinks his milk, he likes the youth...centers,
That’s why he’s a star.
The villains shake and quake when Mr. T...enters,
Because they know he’s gonna throw ‘em helluva far!
He’s so bad,
Grim and gritty,
When he’s mad,
It ain’t pretty,
And I’ll add
That I pity
Any fool who steals his chain,
Or who puts him on a plane,
The prediction will be pain,
Oh, yes,
If you mess with Mr. T!

Remember how he sounded when Hannibal described his latest crazy plan?
Remember when he pounded that scoundrel Dennis Franz for messing with his van?
Remember he was shorter than Murdock on the show? Hey, what was that about?
Remember that reporter who tagged along with them, and then got booted out?
Remember how he sold us the thermoses and lunchpails we would bring to school?
Remember how he told us to be somebody or we'd be somebody's fool?
Remember when he listed the reasons why we should be proud to be a kid?
Remember he insisted we never should do drugs, although of course, we did?
But we wish we'd done as we were bid

Repeat Refrain

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