My Mantra

I feel compelled, somehow, to post the lyrics of a song I wrote a couple of years ago, called "As Little As Possible." I was reading it over today and it seemed to sum up my life's ambition very well.

I should find a way to post the tune, too, but I can't, so I won't. Anyway, the refrain is:

I'd gotten heartily sick of work,
I hated doing a lick of work,
Then I discovered the trick of work
Was to do
As little as possible.
Things I suggested were snickered at,
I'd say a word and be pounded flat,
I found the way of avoiding that
Was to say
As little as possible.
So never volunteer,
Never jump the gun,
Always disappear
When anything needs to be done.
'Cause
If you do
As little as possible,
You'll have the most possible fun.

I can't remember why I wrote that, exactly... I think I was doing one of those exercises where you improve your songwriting skills by writing songs for specific characters, so I wrote three or four lyrics for an imaginary musical version of NewsRadio. (My solo for Jimmy James was, believe it or not, pretty good.)